whoredrigo:

pettydavis:

k1mkardashian:

thistickles:

k1mkardashian:

tbh i was kinda disappointed the first time i sucked a dick. idk what i expected it to taste like but i was just like “oh okay”

Cock is one of my favorite tastes. Not only that, but balls smell amazing. It makes me go a little crazy on it to be honest. Like, I cannot get it far enough down my throat to be satisfied. I’m only satisfied when I feel those intense, powerful, salty, hot pumps of cum down my throat. When I sit back on my heels, look up at you with cum all over my mouth and slobber running down my neck, hair all fucked up and wipe my mouth with the back of my arm and ask you if I did a good job and you cannot even speak because I’ve drained all of your energy out the tip of your dick….. That’s when I’m satisfied.

does that person know they LITERALLY invented comedy??? do they really know????

This is religious scripture

(vía nihilisticteenager)

magsbanes:

me: i want love

also me: doesn’t like dating apps, doesn’t go out, doesn’t put herself out there, always falls for unavailable people, is kinda ugly anyways

(vía fy-nghariad-fy-emrys)

maliciousmelons:

Seeing where your elementary school friends end up is always fun.

(Fuente: maliciousmelons, vía sorry)

astronomicallyarab:

Me: I hope my depression doesn’t come back

Depression:

(vía abrazosinolvidables)

miyku:

me after 3 hours sleep 

mother : are you all right?
me :
 

(vía the-absolute-funniest-posts)

awakecorgi704:

booty shorts that read “do not resuscitate”

(vía civilwhore)

toboldlylesbian:

toboldlylesbian:

i have officially piqued, i’ll never be funnier than this moment in time

i was walking through the grocery store ignoring everyone and i walked around the corner and ran right into this old mans cart and i was like “oh god, my bad, i didn’t see you there” and when i looked up, he was wearing all camo. down to his hat. his wife lost it laughing. i’ll never be funny again

(vía sorry)